Let’s talk about something that hits home for every parent, discipline.
There are times we just want instant obedience. No backtalk, no attitude, no pushback. Just a kid who listens right now.
But here’s the thing, we’re not just raising kids who obey us. We’re raising kids who will follow Jesus. And that means how we correct them matters.
There’s a big difference between discipline and punishment. One transforms their heart, and the other just modifies their behavior.
Punishment vs. Discipline: What’s the Difference?
Punishment says, “You messed up. Now you have to pay for it.”
• Punishment is focused on revenge.
• It’s about making the child suffer the consequence of their mistake.
• It often comes from a place of anger, frustration, or wanting control.
Example: Your child lies to you, and in frustration, you take away their favorite toy for a week with no conversation about why lying is wrong.
What happens? They may stop lying out of fear, but they haven’t learned why truth matters or how to make better choices.
Discipline says, “You messed up. Let’s learn and grow from this.”
• Discipline is focused on restoration.
• It’s about teaching, correcting, and guiding their heart toward wisdom.
• It comes from a place of love, patience, and long-term vision.
Example: Your child lies to you, you sit down and say, “I love you too much to let lying take root in your heart. Let’s talk about what happened and what truth means in our family.”Then, you give a consequence that helps them understand trust and responsibility.
What happens? They learn that honesty isn’t just a rule. It’s part of who they are called to be.
See the difference? Punishment is about control. Discipline is about discipleship.
Why Discipline Reflects the Heart of God
God could have chosen to punish us for our sin, but instead, He disciplines us because He loves us.
• “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”” – Hebrews 12:6 (ESV)
• “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11 (ESV)
God’s discipline is never about shame or revenge. It’s about leading us toward righteousness, peace, and wisdom. And that’s exactly what our discipline should do for our kids.
(Stay tuned for Part 2 Discipline vs. Punishment: How To Discipline In a Way That Shapes Their Heart)
Unshakable kids. 