(The blog wasn’t written as an attack on any one method. It’s a wake-up call to parents who have started letting culture define what love and discipline should look like instead of God’s Word.)
“Gentle parenting” sounds nice. Respect your child. Stay calm. Don’t overreact. Teach with empathy. And to be fair, there’s some good in that.
The problem is when gentleness replaces discipline, and feelings replace truth. Our kids don’t grow. They drift.
The goal isn’t to raise emotionally affirmed children. The goal is to raise children who know how to surrender to the Lordship of Jesus.
God isn’t just a comforter. He’s a King. And in our homes, if we don’t lead like He does with truth, correction, and love then we’re not parenting with the Gospel. We’re parenting with culture.
The Bible Doesn’t Promote Passive Parenting
The Bible calls us to discipline. Not out of anger, but out of love.
“The Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.” – Proverbs 3:12
Discipline isn’t punishment. It’s discipleship. And if we’re always validating their emotions but never correcting their actions, we’re raising kids who know how to express their feelings but not submit their hearts.
The Bible never told us to “gently allow your child to do whatever feels right.”
The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go…” – Proverbs 22:6
That word train implies structure, correction, redirection and sometimes consequences.
We’re Not Called to Coddle. We’re Called to Lead
Our kids don’t need perfect parents. But they do need present, God-fearing, truth-speaking ones. Sometimes parenting biblically means:
- Saying “no” even when they’re upset.
- Following through with consequences even when it’s inconvenient.
- Calling out sin, not just redirecting behavior.
- Apologizing when we mess up but still standing firm in what’s right.
Gentle parenting without biblical authority is just people-pleasing with a smile. And God didn’t call us to raise agreeable kids. He called us to raise holy ones.
Be Their Shepherd
You can be kind without being soft. You can be empathetic without excusing sin. You can be emotionally aware without raising emotionally entitled kids.
Jesus is our model. He was tender with the broken but firm with the proud. He didn’t just heal. He called for repentance.
He didn’t just say, “I love you.” He said, “Go and sin no more.”
Parents, we’re not just creating emotionally healthy homes, which is important. We’re also called to create homes of righteousness.
And that means we shepherd their hearts not cater to their moods.
Gentleness Isn’t Weakness. It Must Be Rooted in Truth
Gentleness isn’t the enemy. Jesus is gentle. We should be too. But biblical gentleness is strength under control. It’s not passive. It’s not permissive. It doesn’t coddle sin. It confronts it with love and clarity.
Hebrews 12:6 says, “The Lord disciplines the one He loves…”
If God disciplines us as His children, shouldn’t we do the same for ours? Discipline doesn’t crush a child. It shapes them. It teaches them that the world doesn’t bend to their will but their will should bend to God’s.
Final Thoughts
Yes, be kind. Be patient. Be slow to anger. But don’t trade truth for softness. Don’t trade boundaries for approval.
The most loving thing you can do for your child is teach them that they’re not the center. Jesus is. If we raise kids who feel safe but never learn surrender, we’ve missed the point.
Let’s not raise gentle rebels. Let’s raise bold disciples. Because eternity doesn’t care how affirmed your child felt. It cares whether or not they knew, loved, and followed Jesus. And that starts with how we lead them now.
Unshakable kids. 